Expectations vs 🚩Red Flags in Dating

Dating is a learning process — about yourself, your boundaries, and what you're looking for in a relationship. It's normal (and healthy) to have expectations, but it's equally important to recognize red flags that may signal deeper issues.

HEALTHY EXPECTATIONS

These are reasonable standards you have for how you want to be treated in a relationship. They promote respect, communication, and emotional safety.

1. Respectful Communication

Expect your date to listen when you talk, respond kindly, and communicate honestly.

2. Consistency

You deserve someone who follows through on what they say and shows steady interest — not hot and cold behavior.

3. Mutual Effort

A balanced relationship involves both people putting in time, care, and energy.

4. Honesty

You should expect transparency about important things like intentions, relationship status, and values.

5. Physical and Emotional Safety

It's okay to expect your boundaries — physical or emotional — to be respected at all times.

6. Shared Values or Goals

While you don't need to agree on everything, a level of alignment on big topics (e.g., family, lifestyle, or future plans) is a fair expectation.

🚩 RED FLAGS

These are warning signs that someone may not be emotionally safe, respectful, or ready for a healthy relationship. Pay attention to them — even early on.

1. Disrespect or Dismissiveness

Belittling your opinions, interrupting you constantly, or mocking your interests is a red flag.

2. Lack of Accountability

If they blame others for all their problems, never apologize, or can't admit fault, be cautious.

3. Jealousy or Control

Early signs include questioning who you're with, checking your phone, or making you feel guilty for having a life outside them.

4. Love Bombing

Over-the-top flattery, gifts, or talk of deep commitment too soon may feel flattering, but it can be manipulative.

5. Inconsistent Behaviour

If they’re all-in one day and distant the next, or constantly cancel plans without good reason, take note.

6. Disregard for Boundaries

If they push physical or emotional boundaries — even slightly — that's a major red flag.

7. Overly Negative Attitude

Constant complaining, bitterness toward exes, or a generally negative worldview can be draining and unhealthy.

⚖️ How to Balance Expectations with Reality

• Be flexible, not passive. It’s okay if someone doesn’t meet every preference — but don’t ignore core needs.

• Watch actions, not just words. Promises mean little without behaviour to back them up.

• Trust your gut. If something feels off, you don’t need to explain it away.

• Set clear boundaries. You can do this kindly and still protect yourself.

• Talk about expectations early. Not in a confrontational way, but with honesty: "I'm looking for something meaningful" or "I really value open communication."

❤️ Reminder:

You’re allowed to:

• Walk away if something feels wrong

• Take your time getting to know someone

• Expect to be treated with kindness and care